Tuesday 17 December 2024

Psalm 61

Background
In our modern Western society, the idea of an arranged marriage is a strange one but there were such marriages within our own history and the story of Mary and Joseph was what we would describe as ‘an arranged marriage’.

According to the custom of their day, a marriage would have been arranged while Mary and Joseph were too young to answer for themselves. It was a marriage between families – a linking of families – and they would have been seen as being ‘engaged’ from an early age.

Once the couple were old enough to answer or make decisions for themselves there would be the ‘betrothal’ and ratification of the earlier arrangements. At this stage either the man or the woman involved could change their mind and call matters to a close. Once betrothed the couple were viewed as ‘husband and wife’ even though the final contract of marriage had not taken place. They would continue to live separately but it was only a matter of time – one year from betrothal to the actual wedding – and during that time they were formally recognised as being a couple.

Finally, there would be the wedding and the woman would move into the man’s family home.

We meet Joseph at the stage of betrothal but not yet married – hence Matthew talks of Jospeh debating about ‘divorcing’ Mary.

Joseph knew that the child she was carrying was not his and he had to make a difficult decision. He either had to stand by Mary and be accused of having an extramarital relationship with her (despite their betrothal). Or he had to disappoint his family and hers and break the contract, which would leave Mary open to scandal and even death, by stoning, as a ‘loose woman’.

In a dream he is reassured by God that the right thing to do is to go ahead with matters as planned because this is God at work and not a human intervention or error.

Joseph stands by Mary.

To Ponder:

• When have you faced a decision that would seem to please no one else involved but which ‘felt’ like the right way to go?
• Who did you turn to for support and guidance?

Prayer
Lord, sometimes life does not seem to work out as we might imagine or want. Help us to have the wisdom and courage to seek help and support from others and from you. Amen.

Bible notes author: The Revd Una McLean
Una is a retired presbyter living in Northumberland with her small dog Patricia. She enjoys all manner of craft work, reading, theatre, cinema and music. She also participates in Traildog events, which grew out of people running in local park runs with their dogs (today she and Patricia walk them as Una treasures her knees).