Bonjour – One Heart at a Time

This article on inclusion was inspired by Barry Sloan's trip with the Vice-President Designate, Caroline Stead, and her daughter, Rachael. The trio were visiting projects and ministries of the United Protestant Church in France – one of over 100 global partners of the Methodist Church in Britain.

During the trip, Barry grew to understand more about autism.

Bonjour – One Heart at a Time

I had never met Rachael before.

I found her where I had expected her to be – in the hotel breakfast bar, on the chair nearest to the exit. Pretty much where her mother had told me she would be, when we were planning this trip.

”She’ll be fine”, she said. ”She just likes to sit near the door.”

You see, Rachael is autistic.

She often gets anxious. She struggles sometimes with her nerves. She doesn’t like noisy or crowded environments. She likes routines. And structure. And to sit near the door.

Rachael’s mother, the Vice-President Designate of the Methodist Church in Britain, was sitting opposite her at the breakfast table.

I work for the Global Relationships Team of the Methodist Church in Britain, and it was my job to coordinate an overseas visit for the Vice-President Designate with our partner church in France. Rachael was along for the ride, glad to support her mother and maybe have a bit of a holiday too. That’s how I got to meet Rachael, a young woman who impressed me in more ways than one.

For starters, she forgets nothing! This made her the perfect assistant travel coordinator for a scatter-brain like me. With Rachael, we always knew where we had to be, when we had to be there, and how to get there safely – crossing the street incorrectly was frowned upon… and called out, a lesson I learnt on our first day together when I tried crossing the road without permission from the little green man on the traffic lights.

As I reflect on my week with Rachel and her mother, I realise that this trip was one of the least stressful work trips I have ever had. Here’s why. I am a last minute man. I rarely turn up to a train station 30 minutes before the train departs, or to a meeting a half an hour before it begins. I am usually rushing, often a little bit hectic and sometimes trying to do three things at once. It can be quite stressful. Travelling with Rachael, however, corrected all that for me. No rushing. No pressure. No stress. We had more than enough time to make a wrong turn in the city and still reach our destination on time. Enough time to relax and chat whilst waiting for the tram. Enough time for Rachael to roll her eyes at my terrible dad jokes.

Before the trip, I thought that all of this travelling through France on public transport, with luggage, could be a bit tricky for Rachael. Stressful. Difficult. I have had no previous experience of working with autistic people, and that’s why I could only think of the challenges that might come up. But here’s the thing. If we’re honest, such a trip could be tricky for any of us! l'll continue with the honesty and admit that my one-dimensional thinking about Rachael had prohibited me from seeing her strengths. Her gifts. Gifts that turned out be very handy indeed.

In fact, travelling with Rachael was like having our own personal Street Pastor, shepherding us to our next appointment. Slowing down was a true blessing. The irony was not lost on me at the end of the week, as we went our separate ways in Paris. Our train to Paris had been delayed by one hour, which meant that immediately after saying goodbye to Rachael and her mother I was racing through Gare de Lyon train station, trying to get my connections back home to Berlin. As I ran up a moving escalator with my luggage in hand, I could hear Rachael’s voice in my head, ”Please be careful. Take your time”.

Careful. This is another thing that impressed me. Rachael is full of care, with the kindest of hearts, especially for those in need. Maybe that’s also why Rachael works in a care home for the elderly. She loves it… because she loves old people. It was touching to see how Rachael was impacted by the suffering of others around us, or on the odd occasion in our group when she felt that her words or actions had caused us any worry or concern. Such a gentle, humble and considerate soul, exhibiting the fruits of the Spirit in her life in ways that I have been trying to attain for decades!

I saw this same humble and considerate manner in Rachael when it came to the photographs. On numerous occasions the Vice-President Designate would be photographed with our partner church colleagues at the various projects. Rachael respectfully declined, saying, ”I don’t want to be in any photos. I’m not important.” I knew what she meant. This work trip was about her mother’s role representing the Methodist Church. What Rachael could not know, however, is how big an impact she was having on all who met her. Her kindness. Her willingness to help. Her softness, that made us all more human. And her directness – to saint and scholar alike – was both wonderfully ruthless and laugh-out-loud brilliant. It doesn’t matter if you are a professor of theology, a lady carrying her dog on the underground or a homeless person on the street, Rachael includes you! For six days, as we travelled through France by train and tram, Rachael’s jovial ”Bonjour”, along with a friendly wave of the hand, and her infectious smile, brought people together.

It’s no surprise to me that ”inclusion” is one of the themes chosen by the Vice-President Designate for her year in office. Her second theme is ”Supporting lay workers”. In just a few weeks’ time, the Methodist Church in Britain will have a new Vice-President. Caroline Stead, a brilliant and gifted lay-person who has spent most of her adult life showing us all what genuine inclusion can look like. It can look, for example, like her daughter, Rachael, who at the end of the week shared the following with me, ”My faith journey hasn’t always been easy… but knowing that God is always there for you has made a real difference to me.” That’ll preach!

It’s going to be a great year! Prepare to be included.

Barry Sloan

Partnership Coordinator for Europe

(Global Relationships team)