The impact of the Conference’s decision on the God in Love Unites Us (GILUU) resolutions last summer has been truly transformational. To hear the Church affirm God’s love for all in the overwhelming majority for same sex marriage has significantly changed my life for ever.
I am currently training for Methodist presbyteral ministry at The Queen’s Foundation in Birmingham and have been since September 2020. Before that I was a local preacher in the Preston Ribble Circuit of the Lancashire District. I have been journeying since 2013 on the ‘pilgrimage of faith’ that the Church set out upon in 1993 (the year in which I was born). I know that there are many more people who have had to wait much longer than I have, and sadly many who never lived to see the day that the Methodist Church voted to permit same sex marriages in its churches. But even in my relatively short journey waiting for the liberation that has come from these recent Church affirmations, there has been significant hurt and pain.
I have been in a relationship with my partner, Ben, for over 12 years. Despite all the local church and circuit conversations, district consultations and Conference deliberations, we have had the stigma of being a committed same-sex couple who lived together. We had longed for the recognition and equality that we fervently believed was God’s will for the Methodist Church. There have been occasions on this journey that have been really upsetting and painful; but there have also been times of genuine love, compassion and grace that have spurred us on to keep sharing our story. To keep sharing the love that we have for each other. The love that God has given us to share.
We have waited over a decade to be able to finally plan to marry in a Methodist Church. Many years ago, we took the decision to wait for the outcome of the discussions that were taking place in the Church. It was because we longed so deeply to be married in the Methodist Church that we took the painful decision to wait. When it was then delayed due to the COVID-19 pandemic we were heartbroken. Although it was entirely necessary to postpone the decision, it still hit us very hard after we had psychologically and spiritually prepared ourselves for a final decision – whatever it may have been. So, the following year when we watched the final vote take place at Conference on live stream, we couldn’t hold back our emotions. For me it was like a great release of all the tension, fear, hurt and discrimination I had felt and experienced. We sat in silence before our television screen – awestruck at the momentous decision that had taken place. We then looked at each other, smiled, and then cried. Words cannot describe the emotional significance of that day, and the impact that it will have on the rest of our lives and ministry together.
At last we are now in the process of planning a wedding and it is so exciting! We will be marrying in June of this year (2022) in front of our friends and family, and before God in a church from our home circuit. We cannot really believe that we are now thinking about hymns, bible readings and prayers. But we are! To be able to marry in a Methodist Church means everything. To be able to proclaim publicly before friends, family, and God of our deep love and commitment to each other is all we have ever wanted. And now we get that opportunity. It is our intention that our marriage service will include Holy Communion as a symbol of God’s love for all, in the table that extends bread and wine to all who wish to receive it, no matter who they are. We deeply believe that being able to be married in the Church will be a great witness to those who will come and celebrate with us who are not Christians. It is such a blessing to be able to be real life examples to our friends, families, and communities that God loves each and every person whom God has created and that the Methodist Church in Great Britain recognises and affirms that. I thank God every day for the courage and commitment that has brought the Church to this point, whilst still recognising the hurt and pain that so many have experienced.
As I continue my training for ministry and look forward to beginning the stationing process in September, I am now thinking ahead to the impact that GILUU will have in my ministry. I am already so excited and honoured to be able to proclaim through my life in ministry that God’s love unites us all, even when we deeply disagree with one another. I feel blessed to be able to have the opportunity to marry ALL couples and to live out my calling to a genuine and authentic life as a gay Methodist Minister. I will live out this calling living alongside, and serving, those who still hold a traditional view of marriage. One thing that I think is so beautiful about the Methodist Church is that we have been able to hold ‘contradictory convictions.’ I believe that the decision to uphold both definitions of marriage is a way that will bring communities together, and I hope, heal some of the hurt that has occurred to all of us. I think it is very important that we continue to live, serve, and minister to those who may think differently to us, with the grace that is freely offered to us through Jesus Christ.
I look forward in hope as the Methodist Church continues its journey to becoming a more justice-seeking community of faith. I am thrilled to be involved on this journey and feel emboldened to join in and encourage communities to live out the church’s commitment to the equality, diversity, and inclusion of all people.
I give thanks this LGBT+ history month for the GILUU report, its resolutions, to the Methodist people who have journeyed with it, and for those LGBT+ people who have persisted in being a presence of faithful and authentic living in the Church.
Jason McMahon
Student Presbyter at The Queen’s Foundation, Birmingham