Blue Christmas
Bible readings
Psalm 121
Matthew 2:1–12
Songs and hymns
- The First Nowell
- O Holy Night (the middle stanza, which is often missed out, is about the Magi and includes the lines: In all our trials born to be our friend/He knows our need/To our weakness no stranger)
- The Three Kings by Peter Cornelius
(Please check out this lesser-well known carol: youtu.be/FnpHsLnwg5g?si=uoT64QRNSpu-xXhe)
Christmas can be a very difficult time for people for all kinds of reasons. A ‘Blue Christmas’ service provides a space for painful emotions to be held and acknowledged rather than dismissed or hidden amidst all the jollity. It offers a space in which people can feel what they feel.
A Blue Christmas service needs to offer good news of hope for the future without minimising the pain that is felt now. It is likely to demand less of participants: music may be performed rather than people being expected to sing along.
Careful thought needs to be given in terms of pastoral care. Prayer and/or listening could be offered at the end of the service for people who want this, and signposting to other services, such as counselling, may be helpful. We can use the message of Gifted to offer good news to people who are struggling.
Background notes
For some people, Christmas itself feels like a gift – a time of joy and beauty – but this isn’t true for everyone. For some, Christmas is an unwanted gift that they’d like to throw in the bin, even while everyone around them is in party mode. Some people feel they have to smile gratefully even though they aren’t smiling inside.
In Matthew 2 we read about gifts that Jesus received from the magi: gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. Precious gold, valuable and highly sought after, then as now. Frankincense and myrrh: sweet, rich-smelling tree resins, very expensive items.
There are several Old Testament references associating frankincense and myrrh with joy and celebration yet, traditionally, gold has been understood as marking Jesus’s kingship, 46 frankincense his priesthood, and myrrh his death. In Mark 15.23 Jesus is given wine mixed with myrrh on the cross; in John 19.39 we read that Nicodemus brings myrrh and aloes to anoint the dead body of Jesus. In this service, we take the traditional association of myrrh with Jesus’ suffering and death, focusing on the gift of myrrh as we hold before God the suffering in our own lives.
There are three ways in which we might do this, and preachers may wish to offer all three. Firstly, we may be thinking of people we love who have died, and the sweet aroma of myrrh that anointed Jesus’ body can help us hold these loved ones in prayer (see below for suggestions for using myrrh essential oil in prayer).
Secondly, we may contemplate the gift of myrrh as a metaphor for the sadness we carry. When we are overwhelmed with sorrow, we can give our sadness to God and – we hope and trust – receive peace, comfort and strength to go on. Preachers and pastors will need to take care here not to offer this as an easy solution for ‘fixing’ pain – “Just give it to God!” – but rather an invitation to relationship with one who cares.
Finally, and perhaps most profoundly, we notice the presence of sorrow and suffering right there in the nativity tableau, at the heart of a story that is so often told with joy and gladness. And as we notice this, we realise that God knows and sees our sorrows; that there is a place for them, even at Christmas.
Questions
- Have you ever given your sadness to God in prayer? What was it like?
- What difference does it make to see myrrh – a reference to suffering and death – at the heart of the Christmas story?
- Can you think of a time someone has been a gift to you – helped you in some way – during a time of pain or sadness?
Hands-on activities
Materials:
- A variety of blue gift wrap supplies: blue tissue or crepe paper; wrapping paper with a blue background; blue ribbons and gift tags
- Washi tape (the more eco-friendly option) or sellotape
- Scissors
- Christmas ornaments – you could have people donate ones they rarely use or don’t need
- Instruction cards so that people can quietly move to this table and participate without waiting for instructions
Activity: People are invited to take a Christmas ornament and wrap it in blue paper. As they wrap, they can think about the sadness or pain they feel, that for them is wrapped around Christmas. (The response activity will give people options for what to do with their wrapped ornament).
Prayer ideas
Get some myrrh essential oil and offer people the opportunity to have a drop on their forehead or hand as part of a time of prayer. Alternatively, for a no-touch option (which some people might prefer), put a drop of myrrh on scraps of cloth and hand them round for people to smell as they pray. Holland & Barrett and Neal’s Yard, among other retailers, sell myrrh.
Creator God,
thank you for the gift of the world you made.
Thank you for the gift of one another.
Thank you that we do not have to struggle through alone,
that you made us for community.
Living Lord Jesus,
whose birth we are here to remember,
thank you for giving us the gift of you –
for coming to be with us
as one of us,
for taking on our humanity and sharing our pain.
Holy Spirit,
thank you for bringing us the gift of God’s presence,
turning every heart into a Bethlehem stable
and every moment an opportunity for grace.
Eternal God,
Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
you have given us so much
and we have received so little.
We are sorry for the times we have thrown your gifts away
through selfishness, through thoughtlessness,
or simply because our eyes are full of tears.
Thank you that you keep giving anyway, because you love us.
In Jesus’ name we pray,
Amen.
The good news to get across
Even amidst all the rejoicing, God sees and receives your sadness.
Ways people can respond
Give people a few options:
- Leave their wrapped Christmas ornament under the cross, or under your church Christmas tree, as an offering to God, who cares for them and sees their tears.
- Take their wrapped ornament home as a reminder that, for them, joy is wrapped in sadness right now, and that is okay.
- Take their wrapped ornament home and, when they are ready to do so, unwrap it and hang the ornament on their Christmas tree. They might not be ready until next Christmas (or later), and that’s okay too.