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The ability for people to develop relationships with other people is crucial for changing the life cycle of a congregation.  We must remember that people are not looking for friendly congregations.  Rather they are looking for a congregation where they can make friends.  If people cannot develop meaningful and sustained relationships quickly they will not stay or be attracted to congregations.  Small congregations are only friendly to those who are already a part of the congregation.  Large congregations grow large because people can make friends easily on their terms.  There are at least five key concepts that are crucial to relationships as this term is used in regards to life cycles.

Saturated and unsaturated relationships

People are like “LEGOS” in that they only have so many pegs to connect with other people.  Therefore, they can only have a limited number of meaningful relationships.  That is why new people must constantly be being connected with people who are relatively new to the congregation. 

Places to be 

Everyone needs a place where they are accepted or valued as a person for who they are, not what they do.

Group dynamics

Often different size groups meet for different purposes.  These purposes cannot be interchanged.

  • Large groups – Unity for worship and mission
  • Mid-size groups – Fellowship and teaching
  • Small groups – Intimacy and accountability

Transitions 

People do not resist change, which is what occurs in organisations when they move from a downward life cycle to an upward one.  People resist the loss of what was comfortable, provided status and influence, and made them feel significant. Understanding transitions enables change agents to identify that loss, develop plans to deal with the loss, and validate the grief that goes with the loss.  Transition plans often enable change to occur with a minimum of resistance.

Understanding your niche

Local congregations do not minister to all the variety of groups of people in the community.  That is why God has placed a number of congregations in one community.  His Body is comprised of numerous bodies to reach a variety of people.  Therefore, each congregation must understand the mix (gifts, talents, abilities, backgrounds, etc.) that God has provided to reach different kinds of people.  It also means that each congregation must study the people groups God has prepared it to reach in order to maximize its effectiveness.  Healthy congregations are always removing barriers and building bridges to people in order to reach them.